plus 4, Saturday Diary: Things for which I'm thankful - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Saturday Diary: Things for which I'm thankful - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Helicopters fight Sunshine Coast fire - ninemsn
Journeyman Michael Franti finds right formula in Kingston - Jamaica Gleaner
Make My Day - American Reporter
Britney Spears' ex sentenced to jail - Item

Saturday Diary: Things for which I'm thankful - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 09:45 PM PST

Times like these remind me that I should be thankful for not only my wife and kids, my house and job, my spleen and my kidneys, my coming-back-but-not-there-yet 401(k) and my pension, but I also should be thankful for just about everything, even stuff rife with unpleasantness, which also has its place in the universe. Here are some things for which I'm thankful:

I don't get the retirement benefits yet, but I qualify, so in a pinch, I could claim them. Social Security is not one of those government or private funds that is jeopardized because of government mismanagement, the bankers, the speculators, the insurance companies, the CEOs, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Sallie Mae, Henry Paulson, the recession, the TARP, serious underfunding or credit-default swaps. Is it? Just askin'.

I know a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and I haven't exactly studied this astrophysical phenomenon. But the short form is this: About 13.7 billion years ago, something very hot and dense exploded and is still flying outward. You may think you are standing still, but you are moving pretty fast, actually, and not just when a bill collector is at the door. The Big Bang appears to have been the beginning of the universe, which is purportedly at least 156 billion light-years wide, bigger even than the United States' national debt (by a little). And the bang was so precise that if it had happened a millisecond earlier or later or with a mass just a tiny fraction different, it wouldn't have worked at all. But as it is, we have frogs, mountains, Carthusian monks, asparagus, my computer mouse, Rush Limbaugh, oceans, the Pittsburgh Steelers (it's always good to work them into anything we write), billions of stars, Britney Spears and, of course, Sarah Palin. Nobody knows why (not just about Sarah Palin). The scientists are just plain stumped on why and how the Big Bang banged. Go figure. But it does get us back to being thankful, doesn't it?

This is something that tries our patience and builds our character, and for that we can be thankful. From the squawking police radios to the jackhammers, from the yak-yak-yakking co-workers to the 52-inch plasma TV sets with surround sound, from the beep-beep-beeping garbage trucks to the tractor-trailers' air brakes, from the mountains to the prairies, to the oceans white with foam. Wait, I got carried away there; the mountains and prairies aren't that loud. See, patience, I tell you, is what we develop. It is God's way of telling us we were bad and that if we want to get into heaven, a little ringing in the ears can only help. (Noise pollution, particularly in the workplace, is why there was a television show called "Just Shoot Me!")

Sure, these guys and gals tear up their bodies by playing way more games than the human body was designed to endure. But, hey, they get paid exorbitantly and should stop whining just because, say, a leg doesn't work. And we get to watch in person or on TV the home runs, great passes, terrific shots, in-your-face dunks, last-second three-pointers, incredible saves, spectacular catches, bruising tackles and hockey fisticuffs. It reminds us of how bad we were at all these games. And why did they get all the talent and we ended up on the copy desk? Not that I'm envious. And if we weren't watching sports, we might have time to clean out the basement. And who wants that?

These are a kick to see, the colors and all. They remind us that when our time is up, and we are ready to "fall from the tree," we will first turn red, yellow, gold, rust-colored, maroon, orange or some other beautiful hue. Or not. But I'm thankful for everything in the past, present and future, even if I finally hit the ground looking less colorful than an autumn maple leaf (not the hockey player).

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Helicopters fight Sunshine Coast fire - ninemsn

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 09:24 PM PST

Two water bombing helicopters have been summoned to a large grass fire burning out of control in the Sunshine Coast hinterland.

The fire started at 1pm (AEST) on Sunday on Vidoni Road, Mt Delaney.

According to a statement from the Department of Community Safety, 15 fire crews are battling the blaze and their immediate concern is protecting structures in the area.

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Journeyman Michael Franti finds right formula in Kingston - Jamaica Gleaner

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 07:15 PM PST

Howard Campbell, Gleaner Writer

Franti

Michael Franti has spent most of his career happy being a journeyman performer, much in the vein of acts like the Grateful Dead and Bad Brains.

This year his big break came with a hit song recorded in Jamaica.

The 43-year-old Franti hit the Billboard pop charts with Say Hey (I Love You) which he co-produced with the legendary drum-and-bass team of Sly Dunbar and Robbie Shakespeare, and sang with Cherine Anderson. It is the lead song from his All Rebel Rockers album which was done last year at Kingston's Anchor studio.

Franti, who is scheduled to tour with John Mayer in early 2010, is currently in Kingston working with Sly and Robbie on new tracks for a follow-up to All Rebel Rockers. He said Say Hey (I Love You) has been a revelation.

"We've always been an underground group and suddenly we're on the airwaves with people like Taylor Swift and Britney Spears," the lanky vocalist told The Gleaner. "It's been a pleasant surprise."

say hey's success

Say Hey (I Love You) peaked at number 18 on the Billboard pop list with its music video reaching as far as number five on the VH1 Top 20. The song was also featured in Weeds, the hit comedy series on Showtime and spurred sales of All Rebel Rockers to more than 100,000 units.

Most important to Franti, it opened new doors for him and his band Spearhead.

"It expanded opportunities for us to be heard in places like South Africa, China and Japan where the song was played a lot. That's real exciting," he said.

Franti said he has cut eight songs to date on his latest trip to Jamaica.

He has been working with several of the musicians who played on Say Hey (I Love You) and All Rebel Rockers, including Sly and Robbie, keyboardist Robbie Lyn, guitarist Dalton Browne and percussionist Uzziah 'Sticky' Thompson.

pleased with Gloria

He said he is particularly pleased with Gloria, a Nyabinghi song featuring Thompson and traditional drummer Count Ossie Junior of the Mystic Revelation of Rastafari. The track reflects on Franti's 10-day stay in a Los Angeles hospital, in August, to treat appendicitis.

Franti formed Spearhead in Los Angeles during the 1990s. Their blend of rock, hip hop and reggae have earned the quintet a cult following throughout the United States, Australia and Asia.

Songs like Light Up Ya Lighter and One Step Closer To You are underground favourites in the US, but Say Hey (I Love You) has done the trick for the veteran band. Franti said while he would love another hit song, he feels no pressure duplicating Say Hey (I Love You)'s success.

"It's important that we try to stay on the same path but I want my songs to reach people, not to be the beat of the week," he said.

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Make My Day - American Reporter

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 05:56 PM PST

Make My Day
PARIS FOR PREZ
by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Indianapolis, Indiana

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INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

Paris Hilton says she's running for President.

The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama.

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot."

Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while.

"But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . .

Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there?

"So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure.

"I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink."

Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer.

But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense.

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee.

Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role.

While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ?

Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County.

Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.

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Britney Spears' ex sentenced to jail - Item

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 05:20 PM PST

Britney Spears' ex sentenced to jail

LOS ANGELES (AP) – Britney Spears' ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib is being sent to jail for 45 days for leaving the scene of an accident.

Los Angeles District Attorney's spokeswoman Jane Robison says Ghalib was taken into custody immediately after being sentenced Friday.

He pleaded no contest last month to leaving the scene of an accident that injured a man who was trying to serve him with a restraining order. The order was sought by Spears' father and was eventually granted.

The process server has sued Ghalib, a paparazzo. That case is still pending.

Robison says Ghalib was also ordered to serve three years of formal probation and perform 45 days of roadside cleanup duty.

The 37-year-old was facing up to a year in county jail.

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