plus 4, Make My Day - American Reporter |
- Make My Day - American Reporter
- Cyrus Is 2009’s Worst Celebrity Influence - The Gaea Times
- Parents, Hide Your Children’s Eyes – It’s Miley Cyrus - POLLSTAR
- Hannah Montana: Tweens Speak, Miley Cyrus is 2009's Worst Celebrity ... - Buddytv.com
- CYRUS IS 2009'S WORST CELEBRITY INFLUENCE - Contactmusic.com
| Make My Day - American Reporter Posted: 28 Oct 2009 11:06 PM PDT Make My Day PARIS FOR PREZ by Erik Deckers American Reporter Humor Writer Indianapolis, Indiana
Printable version of this story INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Paris Hilton says she's running for President. The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama. "Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot." Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while. "But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . . Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there? "So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead." Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure. "I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink." Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer. But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense. "We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches." But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee. Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role. While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ? Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County. Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.
Copyright 2009 Joe Shea The American Reporter. All Rights Reserved.
This content has passed through fivefilters.org. |
| Cyrus Is 2009’s Worst Celebrity Influence - The Gaea Times Posted: 27 Oct 2009 11:50 PM PDT This content has passed through fivefilters.org.  This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
| Parents, Hide Your Children’s Eyes – It’s Miley Cyrus - POLLSTAR Posted: 28 Oct 2009 10:31 PM PDT Parents, Hide Your Children's Eyes – It's Miley CyrusMiley Cyrus' decision to show off her dancing skills on top of a stripper pole-rigged ice cream pushcart at the Teen Choice Awards has helped earn the 16-year-old starlet a prestigious award – Worst Celeb Influence of 2009. "I think Miley is in an interesting space where she is trying to graduate from being 'Hannah Montana' and a Disney channel celebrity and coming into her own and having a career beyond Disney," Stephanie Cohen, editor of AOL's Just So You Know website, told Reuters. "I think her fans still want her to be the sweet Hannah Montana and she is trying to age up ... Parents are definitely resisting it." Reuters noted that Cyrus has been criticized this year for dating a 20-year-old model and taking part in an informal photograph that seemed to mock Asians.
Over protected parents weren't the ones pointing fingers but rather Cyrus' very own peers and fans. JSYK.com, which is aimed at 9-15 year-olds, tallied up 44,594 votes in its online poll for the first-ever Just So You Know Awards. Cryus was deemed the worst celeb influence by picking up 42 percent of the vote. Britney Spears came in second with 27 percent of the vote and egomaniac Kanye West came in third with 19 percent of the vote. Wow, these teens are harsh. Is Cyrus really more of a bad girl than Brit-Brit? I guess if you're just looking at the year 2009, Spears has been on her best behavior. She hasn't hit any paparazzi with umbrellas or crashed any cars as far as I know. Although her new single "3" is pretty scandalous.
This content has passed through fivefilters.org.  This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
| Hannah Montana: Tweens Speak, Miley Cyrus is 2009's Worst Celebrity ... - Buddytv.com Posted: 28 Oct 2009 11:06 PM PDT Something isn't right in the world of tweens, as they seem to have turned their back on their heroine Miley Cyrus. Reuters reports that according to a survey done on the website JSYK.com, her audience seems to think she's the worst celebrity this year. It's shocking to see these 9-15 year-olds suddenly pointing this out, when they're the ones who've been worshipping the Hannah Montana star ever since she was introduced. Now, these kids are suddenly saying she's worse than Kanye West and even Britney Spears. We all know how those two descended into notoriety, but they can't possibly be better than Miley Cyrus, can they? While it seems as though the 16-year-old Disney juggernaut's popularity is dwindling, the truth is far from that. Her standing in the polls aren't hurting her career, even though she's trying so hard to leap out of that Hannah Montana image to be more mature. E! News reports that the main reason why Miley was voted the worst celebrity influence in that survey was because of her contenders. Compared to the other actors targeting a tween audience, she stands out as the little devil in the bunch. She's been renowned for controversial photos, from Vanity Fair to the slanty-eye one. There's also her pole-dancing gig and the fact that she dated a much older man, which tweens would definitely see in a negative light. On the list of 2009 teen idols, Miley Cyrus is up against Taylor Swift (no dirt there), the Twilight cast (none, if you don't count blood-sucking), Justin Bieber (who? oh, some Canadian singer on YouTube) and perhaps Vanessa Hudgens. Only the last name brings up a PG-worthy issue - the naked photos of her that leaked online. Stephanie Cohen, editor of the AOL blog which performed the survey, shared her thoughts on why Miley was the one who ranked the worst influence. "Miley is in this transitional period where she's trying to shed the Hannah Montana image," she said. "Some of her fans just don't want her to grow up." Well that settles it. It looks like those tweens aren't too keen on growing up as well, even though we all know how quickly they're "maturing" these days.
This content has passed through fivefilters.org. |
| CYRUS IS 2009'S WORST CELEBRITY INFLUENCE - Contactmusic.com Posted: 28 Oct 2009 11:56 PM PDT CYRUS IS 2009'S WORST CELEBRITY INFLUENCE Disney superstar MILEY CYRUS' popularity has suffered a setback - she's been voted the worst celebrity influence of 2009 in a new online poll. 29 October 2009 01:31
MILEY CYRUS News Letter Subscribe to this news alert service to receive news and reviews on MILEY CYRUS Sign Up Now This content has passed through fivefilters.org. This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
| You are subscribed to email updates from Add Images to any RSS Feed To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610 | |
RATTUSNORVEGICUS wrote:
07:10 PM, Oct 28, 2009
Yea,well she's trying to be taken 'serious(hehe) in the grown up pop industry and since you see real 'serious divas(hehe) like Mariah Carey appear in videos looking like strippers I guess she feels she must compete in the cutthroat music industry.They don't look for talented women,just girls who can sing reasonably well and look good with their clothes off.
ZeldaBelle wrote:
10:19 PM, Oct 28, 2009
Because stripper poles are the true mark of a woman's artistic worth. ask lady peenie.