“Sparks move WNBA playoffs because of conflicts - San Jose Mercury News” plus 4 more

Sparks move WNBA playoffs because of conflicts - San Jose Mercury News
Megan Fox eases flying fears with Britney Spears - New Kerala
Kingston’s ‘Tomorrow’ is out of season - Boston Globe
Sports Digest - NWITimes.com
Make My Day - American Reporter

Sparks move WNBA playoffs because of conflicts - San Jose Mercury News

Posted: 20 Sep 2009 05:11 PM PDT

[fivefilters.org: unable to retrieve full-text content]

LOS ANGELES—Oops, it happened again. The WNBA has been forced to shift another playoff series because of an arena conflict, this time moving the Los Angeles Sparks out of Staples Center because of a Britney Spears concert and a heavyweight title ...

This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

Megan Fox eases flying fears with Britney Spears - New Kerala

Posted: 20 Sep 2009 07:45 AM PDT

September 20: Anxious actress MEGAN FOX credits BRITNEY SPEARS with getting over her fear of flying - because she's convinced she won't die on an airplane listening to the pop star's songs.

The Transformers beauty has been candid about her struggles with mental health problems, insisting she's coped with anxiety since her youth.

The 23 year old developed aerophobia in more recent years - but she insists plugging in the Toxic hitmaker's tunes during flights eases her morbid fears.

She explains, 'I developed that (a fear of flying) when I turned 20. All of a sudden I got really afraid to get on airplanes. I had to come up with a way to deal with it because I didn't want to have panic attacks every time I get on a plane. I know for a fact it's not in my destiny to die listening to a Britney Spears album, so I always put that on in my (headphones) when I'm flying because I know it wont crash if I've got Britney on.'

--IANS-WENN

This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

Kingston’s ‘Tomorrow’ is out of season - Boston Globe

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 12:27 AM PDT

And a couple of the tracks produced by Kingston mentor JR Rotem (50 Cent/Britney Spears), such as the Diane Warren ballad "Wrap U Around Me,'' work real magic. Rotem has a way of swaddling simple, memorable melodies and easy grooves in a coat of many textures - blurting synths, fuzzy guitars, clipped hand claps - that transform otherwise drab tunes into bona fide ear worms no matter the weather. (Out tomorrow)

This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

Sports Digest - NWITimes.com

Posted: 20 Sep 2009 09:50 PM PDT

College football

USC DROPS TO NO. 12, WASHINGTON BREAKS THROUGH: Southern California dropped nine spots and out of the top 10 in The Associated Press college football poll Sunday, and Washington moved into the rankings for the first time in six years.

A day after the Huskies upset the Trojans 16-13 on a late field goal, USC fell from No. 3 to No. 12 in the media poll. The Trojans became the second preseason top-five team to lose in the first three weeks of the season. Preseason No. 3 Oklahoma lost its opener to BYU.

Washington, ranked for the first time since Sept. 28, 2003, is No. 24.

No. 1 Florida and No. 2 Texas have held firm to their spots all season. No. 3 Alabama and No. 4 Mississippi moved up one spot in the latest poll, giving the Southeastern Conference three of the top four teams in the nation. Penn State remained No. 5.

Miami, now ranked No. 9, made the biggest jump of the ranked teams from last week, moving up 11 spots after a 33-17 victory against Georgia Tech. The loss knocked the Yellow Jackets out of the rankings.

Miami is in the top 10 for first time since the final regular-season poll of the 2005 season.

Pro hockey

HAVLAT, WILD DEFEAT BLACKHAWKS: From the early indications, it looks like Minnesota Wild fans are going to like the new guys.

Newcomers Martin Havlat and Petr Sykora provided all the offense as the Wild defeated the Blackhawks 3-0 on Sunday, improving to 2-1 in the preseason.

Havlat needed just 84 seconds to score on a tap-in after a pass from Benoit Pouliot. He and Sykora, who spent last season with the Penguins, also scored in the third period.

Havlat, who came to Minnesota as a free agent last summer after spending the previous three seasons in Chicago, denied that he had revenge in mind playing against his former teammates.

"It was weird, but it's still preseason and the real game is going to come," said Havlat, who led the Blackhawks with 77 points last season. "I just wanted to get a good skate, make good plays and work on the system."

Pro soccer

CREW RALLIES TO TIE FIRE: Guillermo Barros Schelotto scored two second-half goals to help the Columbus Crew rally for a 2-2 tie against the Chicago Fire on Sunday.

Schelotto scored the tying goal with 11 minutes to play when he converted a penalty kick, called after Fire defender Wilman Conde fouled Crew forward Steven Lenhart.

Schelotto is third in MLS with 12 goals. The forward netted his first of the game in the 55th minute when he headed in a cross from midfielder Robbie Rogers. Schelotto has three goals and four assists in seven career games against the Fire.

Local auto racing

BITTERLING EARNS FIRST FEATURE WIN OF SEASON: Former track champion Jesse Bitterling added his name to the feature winners list at Shadyhill Speedway as he captured the 20-lap United Midwestern Promoters modified stock car feature race at the Medaryville raceway Saturday night. Bitterling earned his first feature win of the season ahead of division track champion Nick Allen, Tony Roland and Chip Risner.

Butch Toosley (super streets), Mitch Bailey (I-Mods), Travis Tyler (pure streets) and A.J. Miller (barefoot mini stocks) were among other feature winners at the quarter-mile dirt track this past weekend.

Olympics

TIMES SEEKING OLYMPICS FEEDBACK: The Times wants to know if you'd like the 2016 Summer Olympics in Chicago? Please e-mail responses (in 150 words or less) to Assistant Sports Editor Paul Trembacki at paul.trembacki@nwi.com.

Responses must include the writer's name, hometown and phone number, or they will not be considered for publication. The responses may be included in an upcoming edition of The Times.

Women's soccer

CRUSADERS LOSE LEAGUE OPENER: Valparaiso University opened Horizon League play on Sunday afternoon in Dayton, Ohio, but was unable to come away with a victory, falling to Wright State 3-0 at Alumni Field.

Valparaiso (3-6, 0-1) was unable to score, despite holding a 7-6 advantage in shot attempts during the first 45 minutes, and Wright State (3-4-2, 2-0 Horizon) led 1-0 at halftime.

Men's tennis

LYONS EARNS TWO SINGLES WINS FOR VU: Carlton Lyons won both of his singles matches on Sunday as Valparaiso Univeristy wrapped up play at the Hotels at Grand Prairie Invitational held in Peoria, Ill.

Lyons, playing in flight six, started his day with a 6-0, 6-3 victory over Andy Bays of Eastern Illinois. He then added a 6-3, 6-0 triumph against Vance Davis.

Pro basketball

SPARKS MOVE WNBA PLAYOFF GAME: Oops, it happened again. The WNBA has been forced to shift another playoff series because of an arena conflict, this time moving the Los Angeles Sparks out of Staples Center because of a Britney Spears concert and a heavyweight title fight. The Sparks will instead host the Phoenix-San Antonio winner in the Western Conference finals at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion.

This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

Make My Day - American Reporter

Posted: 20 Sep 2009 09:21 PM PDT

Make My Day
PARIS FOR PREZ
by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Indianapolis, Indiana

Back to home page

Printable version of this story

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

Paris Hilton says she's running for President.

The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama.

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot."

Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while.

"But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . .

Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there?

"So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure.

"I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink."

Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer.

But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense.

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee.

Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role.

While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ?

Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County.

Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.