plus 3, <p>President Obama makes a seemingly - Wichita Eagle

<p>President Obama makes a seemingly - Wichita Eagle
Make My Day - American Reporter
Accidental encounters with news - Times Union
Modern parenting: Bad is the new good - Vancouver Sun

<p>President Obama makes a seemingly - Wichita Eagle

Posted: 05 Feb 2010 10:31 PM PST

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President Obama makes a seemingly heartfelt plea for bipartisanship during the State of the Union address, then spends the next week blasting Republicans. Does this sound like someone who really wants cooperation, or someone who thought "bipartisanship" would make a good sound bite?

* * *

Tax-and-spend Democrats do not cause deficits. Borrow-and-spend Republicans bear the sole responsibility for our burgeoning national debt. Any politician who will not declare that we need to cut spending and raise taxes is being less than honest.

* * *

Obama says not to go to Las Vegas and have a good time, to save and spend your money wisely. Then he muffs it by saying our government has to spend our way out of this recession. That policy won't work, and he knows it. He is working against our prosperity.

* * *

How funny is it that some in Congress believe gays cannot serve in the military, yet they are perfectly capable of serving in Congress? Of course, those in the military serve with honor, while Congress doesn't always live up to that standard.

* * *

Osama bin Laden says that the United States is to blame for climate change. I am really surprised that a guy living in a cave would complain about this.

* * *

Amen to taxing churches. They are, after all, businesses — ostensibly of saving souls, but businesses nonetheless. Tax their property at least, if not their income.

* * *

A letter to the editor defending Bill O'Reilly must have been a joke. Fox News is nothing but a propaganda outlet for the right wing of the Republican Party.

* * *

If we need 400 more rooms downtown to bring conventions to town, and this WaterWalk hotel gives us 130 more rooms, is the City Council going to subsidize two more hotels? It might get a little crowded.

* * *

We are so lucky to have our City Council. Its members have never seen a tax-and-spend plan they didn't approve, such as the hotel, WaterWalk and now our water bills.

* * *

Seen on a bumper sticker: "Honk if you love Jesus. Text if you want to meet Him."

* * *

It makes about as much sense for Rush Limbaugh to be judging a beauty contest as it would for Britney Spears to be judging a livestock show.

* * *

The day shall come, oh, sweet blessed day, when we never again shall read a word about a singer who calls herself "Gaga."

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Make My Day - American Reporter

Posted: 05 Feb 2010 11:07 PM PST

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Make My Day
PARIS FOR PREZ
by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Indianapolis, Indiana

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INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

Paris Hilton says she's running for President.

The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama.

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot."

Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while.

"But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . .

Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there?

"So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure.

"I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink."

Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer.

But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense.

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee.

Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role.

While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ?

Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County.

Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.

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Accidental encounters with news - Times Union

Posted: 05 Feb 2010 10:02 PM PST

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On a Web site I was reading recently, I came across a little widget with a come-on hard to resist: "Got news? We'll pay big bucks -- click here."

OK, I confess: It was the Web site of the National Enquirer. But, honest, I wasn't going there for titillation. I was only checking out the competition for a Pulitzer Prize.

Well, why not? Everything else about the news media is in upheaval these days. Unkempt newspaper reporters are showing up on television. Copy editors are learning to edit video. We're sharing our stories with competitors. For all I know, things are so weird that cats might start to sleep with dogs. May as well give a Pulitzer to a supermarket tab.

In fact, there has been some rather serious talk about the National Enquirer and journalism's most prestigious awards, partly because of a coincidence of timing. This week was the deadline for nominations to be forwarded to Columbia University, which awards the Pulitzers. Meanwhile, a book published Tuesday lays out the story of John Edwards' affair with a former aide, Rielle Hunter. And two weeks ago, Edwards admitted that he's the father of Hunter's baby.

The connecting link, which many of us in journalism would rather forget, is that it was the National Enquirer that scooped everybody on the scandal.

Who knows? If it weren't for the National Enquirer, perhaps John Edwards would be a cabinet secretary now, or maybe running for the U.S. Senate in New York, which seems to be a popular thing to do among politicians who once had Southern accents.

So, yes, let's concede that in October, 2007, the Enquirer first reported that Edwards, then waging a credible bid for the presidency, was having an affair with Hunter, a story mostly ignored elsewhere. Two months later, the Enquirer wrote that Hunter was pregnant with Edwards' child. Still, the story got little attention from mainstream media: This is a paper that focuses on Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. And they pay people to feed them information. Be serious, for Pete's sake!

The next month, Edwards came in second to Barack Obama in the Iowa caucuses, nearly derailing Hillary Clinton's presidential bid. Not until August, 2008 -- after the Enquirer published photos of Edwards with the baby and reported he had hidden in a hotel bathroom to avoid reporters -- did most of the media take the story seriously. By then, Edwards' campaign had fizzled. His escapades were less relevant than had he been a potential president.

The Pulitzer Prizes for journalism are awarded in a variety of categories, and you could make the argument that the Enquirer's work might fit some. There's "investigative reporting by an individual or team," and "reporting on national affairs" -- no pun there, no siree -- and the most prestigious, the gold medal for "meritorious public service."

I have been a Pulitzer juror twice, and each time -- once when I judged the entries for investigative reporting, once a category called "beat reporting" -- I was mighty impressed by the caliber of both the winning entries and a lot of the work that wound up on the floor.

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Modern parenting: Bad is the new good - Vancouver Sun

Posted: 05 Feb 2010 10:45 PM PST

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Reality trainwreck Kate Gosselin was minding her own sordid affairs this week when she was called out and smacked down by none other than Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. Octomom.

"She needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention," snapped Suleman, the mother of octuplets (oh, and six other kids).

Gosselin, also a mother of multiples and the star of Jon & Kate Plus 8, evidently set Suleman off by suggesting to Dr. Phil that raising 14 children would be difficult -- "particularly without a husband to help with parenting."

Mothers are always judging other mothers. Stay-at-homes judge off-to-works -- and the other way around. Helicopter moms judge slackers. Nursing women judge bottlefeeders. We all judge Britney Spears.

The latest cagematch in the Mommy Wars? Good vs. Bad.

Ayelet Waldman defines the first group on the cover of her new book: "The Good Mother remembers to serve fruit at breakfast, is always cheerful and never yells, manages not to project her own neuroses and inadequacies onto her children, is an active and beloved community volunteer; she remembers to make playdates, her children's clothes fit, she does art projects with them and enjoys all their games. And she is never too tired for sex."

Waldman is not one of those moms, as she reveals in Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace. The book is one in an armload of parenting confessionals to acknowledge that along with sunshine and roses comes boredom and disappointment and anxiety. The so-called "momoirs" include Mommies Who Drink, Confessions of a Slacker Mom and It Sucked and then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown and a Much Needed Margarita.

Between book releases, there are mommyblogs and message boards and Twitterfeeds. And always, bad parents make for good TV.

Waldman earned a seat on Oprah after confessing in the pages of the New York Times that she loves her husband more than she loves her kids. "They cross-examined me," she says. "And New York City's elite Bad Mother SWAT team, the warrior shrews of UrbanBaby.com, sank their pointy little incisors into my metaphorical ankles."

Lenore Skenazy is another mom who made the rounds from MSNBC to FoxNews to the set of the Today Show. "Here's a badge of honour," she boasts. "The ladies on The View devoted a whole segment to agreeing -- perhaps for the first time on anything -- about what a terrible, crazy, horrible, heartless and fill-in-the-disapproving-adjective-here mother I was."

Her transgression? She allowed her nine-year-old son to take the subway on his own. In New York City. (To paraphrase the mothers of other fourth-graders, "You let him WHAT?")

Almost as quick as morning-show hosts could say "America's Worst Mom," Skenazy had a six-figure advance to write Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry. "It all turned out fine," she writes. "One subway ride, one bus ride and one hour or so later, my son was back home, proud as a peacock."

So maybe less mothering is actually more.

"The newest wave of mothers is saying no to prenatal Beethoven appreciation classes, homework tutors in kindergarten, or moving to a town near their child's college campus so the darling can more easily have home-cooked meals," Lisa Belkin wrote in last Sunday's New York Times. "Over coffee and out in cyberspace they are gleefully labelling themselves 'bad mommies,' pouring out their doubts, their dissatisfaction and their dysfunction."

Bad is the new black.

Perhaps that's why the Twittermoms want to know: "Are you bad enough to be shameful?" Maybe it even explains TrueMomConfessions.com, the "judgment-free zone" where women reveal their "mommy misdemeanours." Exhibit A: "When people notice the improvement in my son's behaviour, I tell them it's because I cut red dye and refined sugar out of his diet. Actually, it's because I started seeing a therapist and stopped yelling at him so much, but how do I explain that?" You don't explain, you boast -- especially if you want a taste of that trendy bad-mom cred.

Critics point out that all this high-tech navel-gazing is a luxury and preoccupation of the few. Most parents are too busy to think, never mind blog.

Truth be told, some have found it's not all that great to be not so great. Waldman herself argues that when examined too closely, the self-flogging and conscious rebellion of bad moms rings false. "As happy as I am to crown myself Queen of the Maternal Damned, part of me still believes that my children would be better off with June Cleaver," she confesses.

That said, June probably had bad-mothering secrets of her own. That Beaver sure seemed to find his way into a heap of mischief.

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