plus 4, Mazzaglia: Tiger's lesson in hedonism - Daily News Tribune |
- Mazzaglia: Tiger's lesson in hedonism - Daily News Tribune
- Billboard's top 20 artists of the year - Daily Journal
- 2000-2010: The Top 10 pop culture trends - Pbpulse
- 'Empire State of Mind' co-writer in disbelief over song's success - AZCentral.com
- Make My Day - American Reporter
| Mazzaglia: Tiger's lesson in hedonism - Daily News Tribune Posted: 12 Dec 2009 09:13 PM PST You can't go anyplace these days without somebody making a joke about the Tiger Woods episode. It's hardly the first time that people have enjoyed watching a celebrity fall from grace. The same thing happened with Michael Jackson and New York's Eliot Spizer. Public fascination also followed the ups and downs of party girls Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears. People just can't understand it. In our guts, the most important question is "Why?" What is it that causes gifted people of obvious talent to fall so far from grace? Is there something intrinsic about fame that leads people into a crisis of their own making? If we knew why, it would be a first healthy step to recovery. What we do know deep down is that this is no laughing matter. Through these visible symptoms of troubled minds exists a pattern of the dysfunctional and destructive personality. In Tiger's case, most of the attention deals with whether he can regain his image. The problem is that that's not the problem. Image is only what people think of you. What needs repairing is deeper than that. Some would say these personal failures stem from the teachings of the ancient stoics. Indeed, modern Humanism is deeply rooted in stoic Epicureanism which teaches that happiness can be attained directly here and now. The philosopher Seneca believed that because life is short, we should create happiness whenever we could and not just wait for it. That kind of thinking contradicts common sense reality which shows that happiness is a byproduct. It's not something which can ever be attained simply by seeking it. You can't take a day off and expect to be happy. Try it. Things happen that will ruin your day. Situations occur that are completely beyond your control. Stoic psychology points to four distinct personality types. These include The Idealist, The Traditionalist, the Rationalists, and The Hedonists. The stoic philosophy encourages its followers to choose hedonism as the best choice of the four types. That's the problem. The hedonist personality type is characterized by a spirit of self-confidence, adventure, mercurial moods, and feeling of exuberance. Celebrities are not all hedonist personalities, of course, but many of them are. Hedonist celebrity types, affected by their regal status, are tempted into taking unnecessary and dangerous risks every day. In their search for happiness, all sense of proper impulse control goes out the window. After all, as far as they are concerned, the ordinary rules of life don't apply to them. The deification that comes with popularity goes right to their heads. They take unexplainable risks in search of instant gratification. The idea of getting caught never occurs to them. Neither do the serious consequences that come from bad judgment. The stoic philosophy tends to look down at traditionalists. The self-sacrificing element of the traditionalist seems like a waste of time to them. They see personal discipline as an obstacle to attaining pleasure. Stoics frown at traditionalists who are serious, self-sacrificing, and devoted. The traditionalist seeks a distinctive kind of pleasure. They use their free will to reject self-serving choices which appear desirable on the short term but have unfortunate and destructive long term consequences. That takes practice. Perhaps more than the rest of us, celebrities need to develop the habit of doing the right thing in their daily decisions. A mistake is one thing. The mindless continuation of bad habits is something else. Consider, for example, the insider trading case of Martha Stewart and her subsequent conviction. Stewart made a serious mistake, but it didn't cripple her. Redemption for Tiger Woods involves more than an image makeover. The false image is part of the problem to begin with. The public feels deceived that the image didn't fit the reality. Tiger needs to embrace a new set of values. Meanwhile, whatever is happening isn't funny. It's just sort of sad. Frank Mazzaglia can be reached at fmazzaglia@aol.com. fivefilters.org featured article: Normalising the crime of the century by John Pilger |
| Billboard's top 20 artists of the year - Daily Journal Posted: 12 Dec 2009 08:59 PM PST NEW YORK (Billboard) - Taylor Swift is forced to share a stage with Kaye West again. This time, she'll probably like the experience a bit better. Swift and West are side by side as Top Female and Top Male Artist of the Year on Billboard's year-end charts. West marred Taylor Swift's first Video Music Awards win this year when he rushed the stage, interrupted her acceptance speech and went on a tirade about Beyonce being more deserving of the award for Best Female Video. The performer Swift beat out for the No. 1 spot on the Billboard list is none other than Beyonce Knowles. It's just another milestone in an amazing year for Swift. Aside from the VMA statue, Swift has won two Academy of Country Music awards, five BMI awards, and five Country Music Association awards (including Entertainer of the Year). Most recently, Swift took home five American Music Awards -- including Artist of the Year, where she faced possibly the stiffest competition of all, the late Michael Jackson. West, however, has all but fallen off the radar since the VMAs debacle. His tour with Lady Gaga was canceled as the rapper retreated to take time away from the spotlight (though he surfaced in the tabloids briefly in October when an Internet rumor declared that he was dead.) For the following overall year-end standings, the editors of Billboard have tallied the year's album sales figures and reviewed Hot 100 song rankings and compiled a list of the 20 artists who traveled furthest and fastest up the charts. These stars were the best performers on the Hot 100 singles chart and the Billboard 200 album chart from November 2008 through November 2009. 1. TAYLOR SWIFT To say Taylor Swift had a remarkable year would be a comic understatement. She sold more albums than any artist not named Michael Jackson. Her first headlining tour, Fearless 2009, sold out every show within minutes. She became the youngest woman to win the Country Music Association's entertainer of the year award, and she set seemingly every chart record that exists. But most important, she proved herself a graceful, timeless celebrity, handling hosting duties on "Saturday Night Live" and a rampaging Kanye West at the MTV Video Music Awards with equal aplomb. 2. BEYONCE As Kanye West infamously pointed out at the 2009 Video Music Awards, Beyonce made one of the best videos of all time. "Out of all my videos, ("Single Ladies") was the least expensive and took the least amount of time, and it ended up being the most iconic," Billboard's 2009 Woman of the Year reflects. "But once we got on the set, it was like, wait a minute. This is something special." Not only did the ubiquitous clip inspire thousands of YouTube imitations, it also helped push her "I Am ... Sasha Fierce" album to last over a year on the Billboard 200 chart. 3. LADY GAGA The chart-topping hit-maker and headline-grabbing fashionista from Yonkers, New York, became the first artist ever to send her first four singles to No. 1 on the Billboard Pop Songs chart. What's her secret? "A hit record writes itself," said the winner of the 2009 Billboard Rising Star award. "If you have to wait, maybe the song isn't there. Once you tap into the soul, the song begins to write itself. And I usually write the choruses first, because without a good chorus, who really gives a f**k?" 4. THE BLACK EYED PEAS In 2009, Will.i.am, Fergie, apl.de.ap and Taboo became the first group in history to spend six consecutive months atop the Billboard Hot 100, thanks to the succession of two No. 1 songs ("Boom Boom Pow" and "I Gotta Feeling") from the band's fifth release, "The E.N.D." -- a body of work that Will.i.am refuses to think of in traditional terms. "I'm trying to break away from the concept of an album," he told Billboard. "What is an album when you put 12 songs on iTunes and people can pick at it like scabs? That's not an album. There is no album anymore." 5. MILEY CYRUS What does Miley Cyrus want to be when she grows up? The 17-year-old superstar, who spent 15 weeks at No. 1 on Adult Contemporary with "The Climb," told Billboard last year, "Songwriting is what I really want to do with my life forever. No matter how long what I'm doing here lasts, I want to be a songwriter for the rest of my life." With the soundtrack to her "Hannah Montana" movie climbing to No. 1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart this spring, it seems the queen of the teens is off to a pretty good start. 6. KANYE WEST Mr. West is Billboard's Top Male Artist of 2009; an impressive honor, though after his bullying of Taylor Swift at this year's VMAs, he might be a little irked to see her ranked five spots higher than him on this overall artist list. Still, despite his sometimes misplaced enthusiasm, the hip-hop hit-maker never fails to give the fans (and the foes) his all. "I've always wanted to sound like I was rapping at the top of a mountain," he told Billboard in 2005. "I wanted to change the sound of music." 7. BRITNEY SPEARS After a few tumultuous years that found Spears in the tabloid more often than on the charts, Britney redeemed herself with a pair of chart-topping singles -- "Womanizer" and "Circus" -- from her 2008 comeback album. A successful world tour brought her back to center stage, but the real proof of her rejuvenation was the one-off single "3," which debuted atop the Hot 100 chart in October, making Spears the first artist to achieve that feat in three years. 8. T.I. Sadly, T.I. -- who has done big things on the Rap Songs chart this year -- will be celebrating his 2009 successes behind bars in Forrest City , Arkansas, where he remains imprisoned for federal weapons charges through March 2010. But the Atlanta emcee, who scored two of the biggest hits of his career with "Dead and Gone" and "Live Your Life," is taking his punches in stride. "I must be a man and stand up and accept responsibility," he told BET in May. "I exercised extremely poor judgment, and for that, I must be willing to pay whatever price that comes before me." 9. NICKELBACK Why did the band that sold 7.3 million copies of its 2005 album, "All the Right Reasons," entitle its follow-up "Dark Horse"? "We never feel like we'll ever be done trying to prove ourselves," Chad Kroeger told Billboard last year. "You really have to keep that initial hunger that made some of your first songs your best songs. You have to keep that fire in the belly." 10. PINK "'Heartbreak is a Motherf**ker' is what I originally wanted to name the album," laughed Pink during an interview with Billboard last year when asked about her 2008 release, which was inspired by her split from motocross star Carey Hart. "But this album is not all about that. There is fun happening, too, and that's why I named it 'Funhouse' in the end." The set proved positive in more ways that one; it produced her first solo Hot 100 No. 1, "So What." 11. KINGS OF LEON The Nashville band's slow build finally exploded in 2009, with its platinum-selling album "Only by the Night" pushing the alt-rock quartet to arena-headlining status. "I always felt that people would look at me as a guy who dropped out of high school and point out everything I said that wasn't proper," frontman Caleb Followill admitted to Billboard. "I was writing these melodies that I felt were so deserving to be heard (that) I just said, sing the way you know how to sing. Just try it for one record, and, if it doesn't work, you can go back to your shelter." 12. KATY PERRY Katy Perry went straight to the top 10 with three smash singles, including the No. 1 anthem "I Kissed a Girl." The California Girl embraced her success with open arms. "I can't wait to be super-mainstream," Perry told Billboard last year. "But, take all the production away, and I'll play on an acoustic guitar and sing by myself. I'm not a puppet, I don't need strings. There need to be pop girls other girls can aspire to, like Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett, Pat Benatar. We need those women again." 13. FLO RIDA Flo Rida had a monster 2008 thanks to "Low," which reigned as the year's No. 1 song. But 2009 wasn't too shabby for the Sunshine State rapper either; "Right Round," the first single from his sophomore album, "R.O.O.T.S.," sat on the top of the Hot 100 for six weeks beginning in February. "I'm happy to be stepping it up," he told Billboard earlier this year. "I didn't know this record would be this big. I just love making music." 14. KELLY CLARKSON After taking a much-publicized stand to follow her own creative muse on 2007's "My December" (which yielded only one Hot 100 hit after her previous album, "Breakaway," afforded four top 10s), Clarkson returned to her winning chart formula in 2009. "My Life Would Suck Without You," from "All I Ever Wanted," became her first Hot 100 No. 1 since "A Moment Like This" in 2002. 15. JASON MRAZ In 2009, singer-songwriter Jason Mraz rewrote Hot 100 history with "I'm Yours," which remained on the chart for a record 76 weeks. "That's a song about generosity, giving yourself or your time to someone else, and countries all over the world are singing it, loud ... really loud," Mraz told Billboard. "I'm really stoked that that's the kind of song people want to hear right now. It makes me want to keep writing songs like that." 16. THE FRAY The Fray boasted a huge Adult Pop Songs hit this year, "You Found Me," but the band also enjoyed unexpected airplay with an organic remake of Kanye West's "Heartless," which stemmed from a performance on BBC Radio. "They ask guests to cover a current artist and just gave us a list of artists they were playing at the time," said drummer Ben Wysocki. "It was either 'Heartless' or 'Circus' by Britney Spears." 17. NE-YO Ne-Yo, who did big things on the R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart this year, respects those who paved the way for his success. "Years ago, if you weren't wearing the right suit or (didn't) have a correct crease in your pants, you couldn't even get in the door, let alone on stage to perform," he told Billboard last year. "For me, the sharpness of Sammy (Davis Jr.) and Sinatra is the kind of style I strive for in clothes and music. (Ne-Yo's 2008 album) 'Year of the Gentleman' is named in honor of those guys." 18. LIL WAYNE The N'awlins rapper made 21 trips to the Hot 100 in 2009, more than any other solo act. "I think this album is going to be one of my best," he declared to Billboard last year, before the release of "Tha Carter III." "I got one of them Beyonce(-type) albums; everything's hot. I might have to work out a deal with Universal to shoot a video for all these songs, that's how crazy they all are. Every one of them is a movie!" 19. RASCAL FLATTS The Ohio trio made its debut on Billboard's Country Songs chart in March 2000 and has since become a cornerstone of the format. With 38 chart appearances this decade, including a pair of No. 1s in 2009 ("Here" and "Here Comes Goodbye"), the gang trails only Kenny Chesney (47) and Toby Keith (41) for most visits to the survey in the 2000s. 20. ZAC BROWN BAND Country fans are accepting of newer sounds as well, especially when they're as carefree and catchy as the Zac Brown Band's recent No. 1 "Toes." "(Co-writer Wyatt Durette) called me (at) about 6 in the morning on my home phone," Brown recounted to Billboard, "which either meant that something was wrong or that somebody was up late partying. He said, 'I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand and we gotta write a song about it.'" Not only was the tune a hit, but it helped the band earn a 2010 Grammy nomination for Best New Artist. fivefilters.org featured article: Normalising the crime of the century by John Pilger |
| 2000-2010: The Top 10 pop culture trends - Pbpulse Posted: 12 Dec 2009 07:11 PM PST The Best of the decade: A wrap up of the decade's cultural highs and lows: The Top 10 pop culture trends | The Top 10 albums | The Top 10 Movies | The Top 10 TV shows
3. The raunchy comedy with vomit jokes grows up: In the 1990s, movie makers were copying the American Pie-esque trend of obnoxious teen sex romps. But just because that target audience got older didn't mean that their tastes did. Thus, the rise of Judd Apatow and his minions, who combined the gross-out, bodily humor with moments of real emotion mixed in (The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Knocked Up.) 4. The death of the traditional TV season: Waiting for the summer for your favorite show to be rerun? You better fire up the Hulu, or buy the DVD. Even though fall is still the traditional start of the season, there are new shows popping up willy-nilly all over broadcast and cable, at any time, and not just the "replacement" shows that weren't good enough to start in December. And sometimes, a show can have two seasons in the same year (NBC's The Biggest Loser started in October 2004, but starts its 10th season in January 2010). This means that not only are there more choices, but that new shows seem to get less of a grace period, because there's always another show waiting in the wings. 5. 'American Idol' justifies its existence: Once thought to be a hacky TV talent show, the British-born spectacle of dreams realized and crushed mercilessly has not only become a hit in its own right, but done what it said it would: Produce pop culture phenomenons. There's pop stalwart Kelly Clarkson, country heavyweight Carrie Underwood, rock god Chris Daughtry, fan fave Clay Aiken and current headline grabber Adam Lambert. And let's not forget the show's biggest crossover success, Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, who Simon Cowell famously predicted would have a limited career. See, the show's so big, even the show can't predict how far their alumni can go! 6. Hollywood stops bothering writing original scripts: OK, so that's not really true. But some of the biggest phenomenons of the decade were either based on books (Twilight, the Narnia books, the Harry Potter series, Brokeback Mountain), comic books (X-Men, Spider Man), TV shows (Sex and the City), TV movies (High School Musical 3), Broadway plays (Chicago), Broadway plays based on movies (Hairspray) and movies based on comic books (the Dark Knight series). Obviously, adaptations aren't anything new. But the sheer number of these things makes us wonder whether Hollywood's afraid to bank big bucks on an unknown quantity. If it ain't broke … make it into a movie. 7. AutoTune rears its eerily perfect, robotic head: OK, so Jay-Z says it's dead. And we kind of hope it is. But for a little bit, the voice-bending technology, whose popularity most people like to blame on Cher's Believe in the late '90s, saw a brief resurgence, which we're going to blame on T-Pain. Sure, Auto-Tune can also perfect a vocal performance (we hear Britney Spears has it to thank), but it also makes music monochromatic and, frankly, boring. 8. No more love in the afternoon: This has been an extraordinarily bad decade for soap operas. While the death knell for the long-standing daytime drama began with the 1999 cancellation of CBS' Another World, the genre keeps taking hits in ratings, relevance and numbers. Relative newbie Passions, with its witches and talking dolls, took a powder in 2007, followed by the death of Guiding Light, the oldest serial drama, in 2009. And this month, CBS announced that As the World Turns will end a 54-year run in 2010. Blame shifting viewing habits, myriad choices on cable, DVRs all you want, but in trying to appeal to new viewers with shaky cameras, mob violence and flashiness, soaps forgot all about the love. Hope y'all like judge shows and game shows! 9. Big-screen women find a home on the small one: Rather than submit to a movie fate of playing the mother of actors five years younger than they are, film actresses 40 and over have found that some the juiciest, sexiest, most complex roles of their careers are to be found on TV. From Kyra Sedgwick's quirky interrogator The Closer to Holly Hunter's self-destructive, angel-blessed cop on Saving Grace and Glenn Close's vicious litigator on Damages, these shows have helped shows for grown-ups look lucrative again. 10. Torture porn: For anyone who ever watched Jason Voorhees hack up campers and thought "Gee, I wish he'd picked her eye out with a Sharpie and fed it to her," this decade's been a vicious, graphic buffet of medieval torture devices (Saw), slow-motion killing (Rob Zombie's Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake) and all manner of dumb kids meeting horrific ends that just … don't … end (Hostel, Turistas). They're sick, disturbing and, as long as they make money, not going anywhere. fivefilters.org featured article: Normalising the crime of the century by John Pilger |
| 'Empire State of Mind' co-writer in disbelief over song's success - AZCentral.com Posted: 12 Dec 2009 06:50 PM PST As Jay-Z and Alicia Keys lock up their fourth week atop the Billboard Hot 100 this week with "Empire State of Mind," there isn't anyone as excited about the feat as singer/songwriter/producer Angela Hunte. The Brooklyn native, along with writing partner Jane't "Jnay" Sewell-Ulepic, originally wrote and produced the track about her beloved hometown. "I come from the same building where he (Jay-Z) lived, and we knew each other from Brooklyn, but we never worked together. Not in a million years did I think I'd make this hit for him," says Hunte, who actually grew up at "560 State Street," the street address Jay-Z mentions on the track. "I still have no words even for the World Series performance. You get your hopes up with artists but then things happen and the record doesn't make it for whatever reason. But Jay loved the song, it made the album and it sounds crazy." Hunte created the track with Sewell-Ulepic after the two shared their homesick feelings during an overseas trip. "My writing partner and I were in London, missing home. Her mother was ill at the time and I was sick that summer, and we were just down," Hunte explains. "We said to ourselves, we complain so much about New York - about the busy streets, about the crowds and the pushing, about the subway system - but I would trade that for anything right now.' Before we left the hotel that night, we knew we would write a song about our city." That was in February, and although they wrote the track as simply a way to voice their hometown longing, they secretly sent it to Roc Nation a month later in hopes that Jay-Z would like it and use it. When they received negative reviews about the track, they were convinced it was doomed to the vault. But then at a summer BBQ, EMI's Jon "Big Jon" Platt heard the track and fell in love with it, realizing "it would be perfect for Jay-Z," says Hunte. Hunte and Sewell-Ulepic were hesitant, though, being that they had sent the track for consideration already and were shut down. But when a Notorious B.I.G. figure she kept by the computer fell as they played the track for Platt - a statue that had never moved before, regardless of how loud they've blasted music, according to Hunte - she realized it was an omen. "We all just looked at each other like, if Biggie approves, then send it to Jay," she says. The next day, Platt sent it to Jay-Z and he "loved it and recorded it that night," Hunte recalls. "We were just so happy he wanted to honor our work and our production. Two female producers/writers and for him as a rapper to take our song - that's not a combination you see a lot. For him to be so open-minded about it, we just couldn't be any more grateful and thankful." Jay-Z ended up writing all new verses inspired from the original lyrics and leaving Hunte on the hook. But when Hunte and Sewell-Ulepic were asked if they thought someone else would be more appropriate for the chorus, Hunte suggested Alicia Keys. "She's never done a record with him and she also has my same vocal tone. She made the song sound so close to the original," says Hunte. "She just nailed it and brought it home. It was a great choice." Hunte got her start as an aspiring singer, but strayed into songwriting as music became more "commercial. I just felt there was no place for me in music at that time," she says. She started going to the studio and studying production alongside mentor and producer Salaam Remi. In 2001, she signed a deal brokered by Remi with EMI and went to Europe to write for the likes of Ms. Dynamite from the UK, Mis-teeq and British R&B singer Beverly Knight, among others. Her big break came when she penned the track "Do Somethin' " for Britney Spears, which appeared in her "Greatest Hits: My Prerogative" compilation, and was released as the second single off the set. In 2007 she returned to the U.S.and immediately went in the studio with Sean "Diddy" Combs' Danity Kane group, for which she wrote the first single "Show Stopper." The track reached No. 8 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Since then, Hunte's worked with Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and Melanie Fiona, to list a few. She is slated to go in the studio with Young Jeezy, Roc Nation artist J. Cole and up-and-coming rapper H 2-0. Additionally, she is at work on her own album, which she describes as a "pop, electronic set with a dash of gulliness." Although Hunte wouldn't reveal many details, she says the original version of "Empire State of Mind" will one day be released . "The original is so powerful it's only a matter of time till you hear it down the line," she says. In the future she hopes to team up with the likes of Sting, Elton John, Miley Cyrus and Corinne Bailey Rae. fivefilters.org featured article: Normalising the crime of the century by John Pilger |
| Make My Day - American Reporter Posted: 12 Dec 2009 06:35 PM PST Make My Day PARIS FOR PREZ by Erik Deckers American Reporter Humor Writer Indianapolis, Indiana
Printable version of this story INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Paris Hilton says she's running for President. The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama. "Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot." Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while. "But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . . Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there? "So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead." Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure. "I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink." Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer. But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense. "We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches." But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee. Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role. While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ? Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County. Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.
Copyright 2009 Joe Shea The American Reporter. All Rights Reserved.
fivefilters.org featured article: Normalising the crime of the century by John Pilger |
1. The death of the CD: Nearly 20 years ago, record stores dumped the records and replaced them with the bright, shiny compact disc. Unfortunately for those stores, the CD itself has been replaced with something that won't fit on a dusty shelf. Digital music, from the much-maligned and rehabbed Napster, to the all-powerful iTunes, have put more songs at a listener's fingertips than could ever be housed in one physical store. Fans can virtually make their own albums, which means that brick and mortar stores are no longer necessary (RIP, Tower Records.)
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