“tableau’s VMA Wishlist - UV Cavalier Daily” plus 4 more

tableau’s VMA Wishlist - UV Cavalier Daily
Make My Day - American Reporter
Rock star of science - UV Cavalier Daily
Beatles take the music industry's sad song and make it better - Los Angeles Times
Weather sponsored by Fallsview Indoor Waterpark - Toronto Sun

tableau’s VMA Wishlist - UV Cavalier Daily

Posted: 10 Sep 2009 12:04 AM PDT

tableau's VMA Wishlist

If there's one place we look to each year for a bit of outrageousness on television, it's MTV's annual Video Music Awards. OK, so perhaps the show has slipped in recent years — the 2007 jaunt to Vegas for the show was remarkably awful — but we still watch, in hopes that another classic VMA moment might occur. After all, it can't be too much to ask of some of today's most popular musicians to create a must-see performance, and so with that in mind, we've created a little wish list of what we'd like to see happen at this year's VMAs.

Lady Gaga ignites the show: For the last year, pop's most famous newcomer has stormed the charts with her slick collection of pop tunes but has yet to have an outrageously out-there televised performance to match her personality. The VMAs are the perfect stage to make a statement — so here's hoping for some flaming rings of fire, live animals and an out-of-this-world moment, courtesy of Gaga.

Russell Brand delivers: After last year's mostly successful, yet deranged, hosting experience, Russell Brand is back for more. We hope he is once again fearlessly unafraid to offend people but at the same time does so with some sort of narrative to the whole charade.

Muse, don't let us down!: In an odd turn of events, one of rock's coolest bands, Muse, is set to take the VMA stage. Bands like Muse, which aren't typical fair, take the risk of being swallowed by the VMA stage and production instead of focusing on what they're really good at. We have faith though, and look forward to Muse proving us wrong. Fingers crossed.

Beyoncé runs away with the Moonmen: Along with Lady Gaga, Beyoncé is nominated for a staggering nine awards, all for her iconic "Single Ladies" video. You'd be hard pressed to find another music video that had as much impact on popular culture as Beyoncé's understated 'put on leotard and dance' approach, and for that reason, she deserves all the prizes.

A temper tantrum occurs: As much as the VMAs are known for performances, they're also known for musicians exploding, most notably Eminem's beating of Triumph the Insult Dog. Why break tradition now?

Jay-Z brings down the house: He may devote more time to being a C.E.O. than a real rap star these days, but there's no denying raw talent where it exists. With the release of The Blueprint 3 this past Tuesday, we look to Sunday for an awesome showing from Jay-Z, and whatever guests he may bring on stage with him.

The show survives without Britney: For nearly the past 10 years now, the VMAs seem to be judged on the state of Britney Spears. They're either a) fantastic when she's got a python around her neck, b) terrible when she's drunk and performing or c) merely watchable when she's simply accepting awards politely. Here's to hoping the show can grow a bit this year beyond Britney's circus and stand on its own two feet.

Not to brag, but if all of these things were to happen, the greatest awards show of all time would probably occur right in front our eyes, no? Remember, the show airs this Sunday, Sept. 13 at 9 p.m. Be there … or YouTube the whole thing Monday morning.

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Make My Day - American Reporter

Posted: 09 Sep 2009 11:21 PM PDT

Make My Day
PARIS FOR PREZ
by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Indianapolis, Indiana

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INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

Paris Hilton says she's running for President.

The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama.

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot."

Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while.

"But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . .

Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there?

"So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure.

"I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink."

Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer.

But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense.

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee.

Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role.

While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ?

Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County.

Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.

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Rock star of science - UV Cavalier Daily

Posted: 09 Sep 2009 11:14 PM PDT

Rock star of science

Sporting Prada shoes and sharing a dance floor with Will.i.am, are probably not what University students expect of their medical professors, or perhaps any professors. But Dr. Steven T. DeKosky is full of surprises.

Vice president and dean of the University's Medical School, DeKosky was one of 11 nationally-recognized scientists to appear in the June issue of GQ magazine beside musical superstars Will.i.am, Joe Perry, Sheryl Crow, Seal and Josh Groban. Intended to promote awareness of scientific research, the GQ photo shoot represented the launch of its new campaign "Rock Stars of Science," carried out in partnership with the Geoffrey Beene Gives Back association, a philanthropic organization that supports medical, societal and educational issues.

Initiatives such as "Rock Stars of Science" are intended to accelerate scientific research and attract new audiences to scientific causes, especially young people. DeKosky, an expert in Alzheimer's disease research, hoped the photo spread would achieve the campaign's goals of encouraging additional funding for medical research and creating a more public friendly scientific image for the field.

"Meryl Comer [director of the Geoffry Beene Gives Back association] had the idea to match rock stars with scientists," DeKosky said.

According to a recent survey commissioned by the national organization Research!America, almost 75 percent of those polled could not name one living scientist.

"A scientific literate society is in the position to make well-informed decisions," DeKosky said. "The problem is not that the public is disinterested in scientific research." Rather, the recognition gap is more a product of poor scientific literacy rates in today's society, he said.

Even more upsetting for DeKoksy were the results of a recent Harris Interactive survey by Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry. The survey found that the antics of Britney Spears were more influential than Stephen Hawking among most Americans.

"The country celebrates rock stars," DeKosky said. "It's a part of a cultural appreciation for stuff that makes life better which is great. Yet, just as Jefferson said, education is what makes a well-run society."

The public's perception and knowledge of the scientific world are crucial to gaining support for research, he said.

The "brief glimpses" of the scientific world that the public is exposed to are either in movies, in which researchers are portrayed as nerds or in newspapers that tend to feature stories on scientific research gone awry, DeKosky said. The media perpetuates misconceptions about what researchers really do and "keeps people from making decisions about research," DeKosky added.

"A fundamental understanding of the basic principles of research is necessary in order for people to understand how science contributes to life and how it works," DeKosky said.

DeKosky has worked in medical research for decades and helped develop the first non-invasive procedure to monitor the brains of Alzheimer's patients.

"I was first interested in the relationship between the brain and behavior — thinking and actions — so I started out doing research on Alzheimer's because when I started, it was a disease that we knew very little of," he said.

His laboratory was the first to show the connection between the nerve cell contacts and cognitive impairment in Alzheimer's patients. To continue such research, DeKosky and his colleagues require increased public interest and support.

DeKosky admitted that his daughters were somewhere between "disbelief and laughter" when told that their father would be posing in GQ wearing expensive men's wear with some of America's biggest rock stars. While DeKosky said he has taken "a lot of static from friends," he noted that "humor originates from in-congruency."

The experience was "just like a movie with loud music, dancing and a photographer that told us to 'loosen up and move it,'" he said.

The best part of the shoot, DeKosky said, was hanging out with some of his closest friends and getting to know Will.i.am.

"He was great and I think he had as much fun as we did," he said.

Still, he foresees no more celebrity photo shoots in his future. Next on his to-do-list is to "become a reasonably wise and considerate dean [at the Medical School]," he said.

"I have been here for a year, transitioning from doing all research to guiding the medical school," DeKosky said. "I would like to put the same value from my career into the [medical] students."