“Make My Day - American Reporter” plus 4 more

Make My Day - American Reporter
Britney Spears' fans remain loyal - Shreveport Times
Damon Elliott’s talent showcased in 'Fame' - Baton Rouge Advocate
Britney Spear's ex dating her lookalike? - Financial Express
Today in History - Sept. 18 - Daily Press

Posted: 18 Sep 2009 12:02 AM PDT

Make My Day
PARIS FOR PREZ
by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Indianapolis, Indiana

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- It was the snit heard 'round the world. The snarky, scantily-clad video response that got pundits tongues wagging about something other than politics, at least until their wives saw them. Maybe its echo has faded from the news, but it still makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

Paris Hilton says she's running for President.

The vapid blond heiress and star of "The Simple Life," announced her candidacy in a spoof video on FunnyOrDie.com. Hilton said she was running because that "wrinkly white-haired guy" - John McCain, for those of you emerging from under your rocks - used her image in a television spot against his opponent, presumptive President of the United States, Barack Obama.

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton, and I'm a celebrity too," she said without a sense of irony or shame. "Only I'm not from the olden days, and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot."

Oh man, this is really bad. I've always been a big supporter of third party candidates, but my one litmus test is whether they can even spell "candidate." And that they haven't starred in an Internet sex video/ I swear, if she wins, I'm moving to Canada with Alec Baldwin, unless he chickens out like he did last time. (Big wussy. The guy swore up and down he would move to Canada if George Bush became President, but we're stuck with him and his 17 brothers.) Still, I don't think she's got a real shot, so I'll probably be here for a while.

"But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I guess I'm running for President," she continued. Yeah, right. By that logic, since her boyfriend used her in that sex video, I guess that would make her a slut. . .

Uh, oh. This is worse than I thought! Do they get the NFL in Canada? Can I get the Dish Network to work up there?

"So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

Oh, good, as long as you're totally ready. I mean, we wouldn't want someone who was , like, only concerned about whether certain other world leaders are, like, hot, or whether the White House clashes with her outfits. She'll probably appoint Extreme Makerover's Ty Pennington the Secretary of the Department of the Interior to make sure.

"I'll see you at the White House," she concluded. "Oh, and I might paint it pink."

Looks like I've got a tough decision to make. Do I go for the big city or the small town? I've been to Toronto, and it's a nice city with a strong arts community. But if I lived in a smaller town, I'd be closer to nature and some really good fishing. Dryden, Ontario is gorgeous in the summer.

But even as I pace the floor and gnaw on my fingernails, I have to admit, her energy policy made some sense.

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way, offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

But then she, like, totally shot herself in the foot when she said she was considering Rihanna, the R&B artist, as her vice presidential nominee.

Come on! Rihanna?! Are you kidding me? Everyone knows she doesn't have the foreign affairs experience needed to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader. Plus, she was born in Barbados, so she's not a natural-born American citizen, which means she can't take on that role.

While some people would say Britney Spears, Hilton's fellow celeb and John McCain commercial target, is the emotional favorite, I think Cameron Diaz is the better choice. She can shore up the Hispanic vote and improve relations with Latin America. Of course, you'll also need Ashton Kutcher to head up the Department of Homeland Security (Hey Iran, you've been punk'd!). And what do you think of Scarlett Johansen as the Secretary of State... ?

Uh, excuse me. I don't know what came over me. If anything, I'm worrying too much about something that will never happen. Hilton is only 27, eight years too young to run for president, which means I don't have to worry about a global disaster for eight more years. But with her sordid past, I doubt she could even be elected dogcatcher of Putnam County.

Besides, I'm hoping Lindsey Lohan will be out of rehab and ready to run for Senate by 2016.

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Britney Spears' fans remain loyal - Shreveport Times

Posted: 17 Sep 2009 11:55 PM PDT

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Langford, his friends and his sister will be among the local fans in the crowd when she performs this weekend. In fact, the 25-year-old made a T-shirt for the occasion.

"I make a shirt for every concert I go to and I've seen Madonna, Beyonce, and this will be my second time seeing Britney," said Langord, who last saw Britney live when she performed here in 2002. "And I add rhinestones to them. So for this concert, I'm just going to update my first Britney T-shirt from the last time and add even more rhinestones to it."

Lawhead, 24, remembers as a teenager first seeing Spears live the last time she performed here.

"There was this banner at the concert and we kind of took it home," she said with a laugh. "It was a Pepsi banner and it had Britney's signature on it. It was my cousin's plot, not mine!"

This go round, Lawhead is bringing her own poster when she and her five friends go. The concert will be set up like a three-ring circus and Lawhead said she and her friends scored seats that were closer to the stage than when they went to her Dallas show in March. "It's a treat to be this close," she said.

Langford didn't think twice about spending $126 for his section one seat. "The last time I paid $220, so this was kind of like a bargain to me," he said with a laugh. "For someone like Britney to come here is a big deal. You gotta go all out."

One song Lawhead hopes to hear Spears perform is "Toxic." "It's a good dancing song. It makes you feel good and want to dance," she said.

Williams, who also saw Spears perform here seven years ago, said she won't be able to see her live this time, but she has her song picks. "I have tons of favorites, but my top ones are probably "Baby One More Time," "Stronger," "Lucky," "Everytime" and "My Prerogative,'" Williams said.

Langford said if he had to choose, he would pick Spears' "Blackout" album. "I like every song on that one!" he said.

For Lawhead, the only thing better than seeing her live would be a chance to meet the singer in person.

"Gosh, wouldn't that be great? I've always heard that she's so down to earth and just a good girl from Louisiana," Lawhead said. "Anyone who's met her said she's so sweet."

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Damon Elliott’s talent showcased in 'Fame' - Baton Rouge Advocate

Posted: 17 Sep 2009 10:08 PM PDT

The latest project from songwriter-producer Damon Elliott complements an already glistening list of credits including Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani, Keyshia Cole, the all-star, Grammy-winning "Lady Marmalade" (featuring Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya and Pink) and as-yet unreleased music by Britney Spears and Michael Jackson.

And having contributed to more than 30 films, Elliott's latest music can be heard in Fame, the big-screen remake of the 1980 musical that opens next week.

"It's been fun working on it," Elliott, the son of singing star Dionne Warwick and actor-jazz drummer William Elliott, said from Los Angeles. "It's exciting that the world is gonna get to see it."

The 36-year-old Elliott grew up watching the original Fame movie and spin-off TV series. And Bill Hufsey, one of the series' stars, and Elliott's older brother, David, were friends.

"It was really funny to be working on Fame," Elliott said. "When I got hired by my friend, Kevin (Tancharoen), the director, 'My brother was like, 'I just ran into Billy Hufsey!' I said, 'Tell him I'm working on Fame!"

A fan of the first film and TV series, Elliott took the responsibility of creating new music and re-creating classic songs for the movie very seriously.

"Fame won Academy Awards for the music," he said. "It was huge. So I wanted to really to do it justice. There's no way to outdo it, but you still gotta shoot for the stars. When Irene Cara sits in a theater, I hope she doesn't say, 'Man, that Damon Elliott, he ruined my song.' That wouldn't be cool."

Despite the dozens of high-profile projects Elliott has done, he was taken aback when director Tancharoen invited him to join the Fame remake.

"I went, 'You mean Fame Fame?' I was like, 'Oh, my God, dude!' And it just kind of went from there."

Elliott and Tancharoen, a first-time feature-film director whose previous gigs include choreography and video production for Britney Spears, N*Sync, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson, worked closely in the placement of songs.

"Kevin knew where he wanted music," Elliott said. "For the most part, I was one-on-one with Kevin. He was like, 'Yeah, I need this for this spot.' And I'd go to the studio and create it for him.

"It's kind of cool that we have a friendship. I can just call him up and say, 'Hey, bro. Come on over and listen to what I did.' It's not so much having to go through agents and all that stuff. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes friendship goes a long way."

Elliott also spent happy days on the Fame set.

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Britney Spear's ex dating her lookalike? - Financial Express

Posted: 17 Sep 2009 11:55 PM PDT

Agencies
Posted: Friday, Sep 18, 2009 at 1208 hrs IST
Updated: Friday, Sep 18, 2009 at 1208 hrs IST

London: Pop princess Britney Spear's former lover and long time agent Jason Trawick's is in love again and his latest crush looks a lot like the singer.

Trawick was spotted hand in hand with a new girl outside Bally's casino in Las Vegas earlier this month, and bystanders had to do a double take because she looked just like Spears, Life & Style magazine reported.

"They seemed to be having a great time and were relaxed around each other, holding hands as they walked down the (Las Vegas) Strip. They even kissed once or twice," an eyewitness told the magazine.

The 27-year-old singer was expected to be heading down the aisle with Trawick after she was seen sporting an engagement ring but they decided to part ways as Britney was not ready to take the relationship to the next level.

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Today in History - Sept. 18 - Daily Press

Posted: 17 Sep 2009 09:46 PM PDT

The Associated Press

12:01 a.m. EDT, September 18, 2009

Today is Friday, Sept. 18, the 261st day of 2009. There are 104 days left in the year. The Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana, begins at sunset.

Today's Highlight in History:

On Sept. 18, 1709 (New Style date), author, critic, lexicographer and wit Samuel Johnson was born in Lichfield, Staffordshire, England.

On this date:

In 1759, the French formally surrendered Quebec to the British.

In 1793, President George Washington laid the cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol.

In 1810, Chile made its initial declaration of independence from Spain.

In 1850, Congress passed the Fugitive Slave Act, which created a force of federal commissioners charged with returning escaped slaves to their owners.

In 1927, the Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System (later CBS) made its on-air debut with a basic network of 16 radio stations.

In 1947, the National Security Act, which created a National Military Establishment, went into effect.

In 1959, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev continued his visit to New York with visits to Wall Street, the Empire State Building and the grave of President Franklin D. Roosevelt; in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly, Khrushchev called on all countries to disarm.

In 1961, United Nations Secretary-General Dag Hammarskjold was killed in a plane crash in northern Rhodesia.

In 1970, rock star Jimi Hendrix died in London at age 27.

In 1975, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst was captured by the FBI in San Francisco, 19 months after being kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army.

Ten years ago: A multinational fleet sailed toward East Timor, the vanguard of a U.N.-approved force assigned to bring order to the bloodied Indonesian province. Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs became the first player in major league baseball history to reach 60 homers twice. Heather Renee French of Kentucky was crowned Miss America at the pageant in Atlantic City, N.J.

Five years ago: A divided U.N. Security Council approved a resolution threatening oil sanctions against Sudan unless the government reined in Arab militias blamed for a killing rampage in Darfur. Hollywood divorce lawyer Marvin Mitchelson died in Beverly Hills, Calif., at age 76. Pioneer adult filmmaker Russ Meyer died in Los Angeles at age 82. Miss Alabama Deidre Downs was crowned Miss America. Pop singer Britney Spears married her fiance, dancer Kevin Federline, in a surprise ceremony. (The couple divorced in 2007.)

One year ago: President George W. Bush told the country his administration was working feverishly to calm turmoil in the financial markets. The president met with Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, who then asked Congress to give the government power to rescue banks by buying up their bad assets. Stocks on Wall Street shot up more than 400 points on word a plan was in the works.

Today's Birthdays: Singer Jimmie Rodgers is 76. Actor Robert Blake is 76. Sen. Robert Bennett, R-Utah, is 76. Actor Fred Willard is 70. Singer Frankie Avalon is 69. Rock musician Kerry Livgren is 60. Actress Anna Deavere Smith is 59. Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino is 57. College Football Hall of Famer and retired NFL player Billy Sims is 54. Movie director Mark Romanek is 50. Baseball Hall-of-Famer Ryne Sandberg is 50. Actor James Gandolfini is 48. Alt-country-rock musician Mark Olson is 48. Singer Joanne Catherall (Human League) is 47. Actress Holly Robinson Peete is 45. R&B singer Ricky Bell (Bell Biv Devoe and New Edition) is 42. Actress Aisha Tyler is 39. Cycling champion Lance Armstrong is 38. Opera singer Anna Netrebko is 38. Actress Jada Pinkett Smith is 38. Actor James Marsden is 36. Actress Emily Rutherfurd is 35. Actor Travis Schuldt ("Scrubs") is 35. Rapper Xzibit is 35. Comedian-actor Jason Sudeikis ("Saturday Night Live") is 34. Actress Sophina Brown is 33. Actress Alison Lohman is 30. Actors Brandon and Taylor Porter are 16. Actor C.J. Sanders ("Ray") is 13.

Thought for Today: "Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark." — Samuel Johnson (1709-1784).

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